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ME vs. MARKY Z.

So tonight me and my roommate (Michael) and a lot of other people went to see Social Network aka “The Facebook Movie.” And he and I decided that we needed to create “The Next Big Thang” so we said that once he is an established politician and I am an established designer…we will create a website (who knows what it will be!?!) Think like if like Al Gore and Christian Audigier (Ed Hardy…whom I don’t support btw) get together and create a site. Errbody would want to get on it! Sooooo, the bottom line is…ok well idk where I was going with this but I just felt like I needed to share this. And I’m not gonna get all Mark Zuckerberg on ya and create an awesome site tonight but maybe someday! Btw…my site would be more colorful…a lot of greens and purples (as to be expected!!!)

15 Thoughts For Today…

1. I do not like writing in paragraphs

2. Funny!!! “@Jeff14News CHECK OUT THESE MELLONS! 50 lbs...by Debra Weis http://tweetphoto.com/40263784”

3. I NEED a job!

4. There’s nothing better than watching a movie with your family!

5. These are not thoughts…they’re “points”

6. I LOVE the library!

7. I like finding out that other people like the same TV shows as me!

8. I am so proud of Abdi Farah (winner of Work of Art!)

9. Casanova from Project Runway is a Hot Mess!

10. I am ready for school to start already!

11. Back-to-School is fun going back to school is mos def NOT!

12. I feel like Justin Bieber is a nice young man.

13. The entire The E.N.D. album by the Black Eyed Peas is AWESOME!!!

14. I am excited for the new NBC fall series!

15. Sometimes I feel a little Fegalicious myself!

Random Thoughts of People Our Age (not mine!!!)

(I thought this was funny… I removed some of them due to...well, I didn't like them!)

From: RUMINATIONS.com

1. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
2. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
3. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
5. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
6. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
7. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
8. Do you remember when you were a kid playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
9. There is a great need for sarcasm font.
10. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the hek was going on when I first saw it.
11. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
12. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
13. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
14. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
15. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
17. Was learning cursive really necessary?
18. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
19. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
20. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
21. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
22. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
23. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)...ummm...Goonies"
24. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
25. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
26. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
27. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
28. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
29. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
30. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
31. Bad decisions make good stories
32. Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
34. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
35. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
36. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
37. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
38. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to fall after leaning your chair back a little too far.
39. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
40. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
41. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
42. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
43. When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
44. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
45. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
46. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
47. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
48. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
50. Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
51. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
53. I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
55. The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

Hook Me UP Homie!!!

Today I went and saw Dinner for Schmucks, it was very funny! I saw it with my brother, Ben and my cousin Lindsey. Before we went to the movies we went to the library, where I discovered the band “The Smiths,” mentioned in 500 Days of Summer. I love them! The picture to the left is a fun one that I found today while browsing the “interwebs.” While I was doing so, I found some things that I need my wealthiest friend to buy me! If you feel that you are my wealthiest friend—even just a random wealthy person who reads my blog—go ahead and have them shipped to me at my home! Or if you can offer me a job, that’s good too! Thank you, the items are as follows:

-Chef's Knife with Honing Case — $32.00

-Sharpie Pencil — $???

-iPad — $499

-Beats by Dre Solo (White) — $199

-$∞ Blick Gift Card
-Anything else nice…

Slappin' the Clifford!!!

Yesterday my brother, my cousins and I went to Holiday World (where they’re number 1 for Family Fun!!!). I got BURNED. Like if you smacked Clifford (The Big Red Dog) that’s how red I am! But anyway, this morning I got up to do P90X and fell apart, when Tony Horton wants you to lie down and get back up off a carpeted floor, you begin to loathe him even more! After that I discovered the majestic heaven that is a cold shower. I had never taken one before, but now that I have, there is no other way to take a shower with a sun-burn.I saw Russell Brand on Live with Regis & Kelly this morning, he just gets funnier every single time I see him! I found out that he has written 2 books, so later today Christian and I are going to the library for movies, music and Russell Brand! Hopefully his book is still in when I get there.

NO LEGS!!!

Yesterday was Day 2 of P90X, Plyometrics (a type of exercise training designed to produce fast, powerful movements, and improve the functions of the nervous system)...As it began, you know, stretching, “loosening up,” I thought “Tony you can’t touch this!” I’m fairly flexible to start with— at least my legs are. So we (me and Tony) kick it into high gear. It’s not too intense. I finished, thinking that wasn’t too bad! But this morning, I woke up annnnnnnd my legs fell off!

Hot Mess Sweat Machine!!!

Today I started P90X…nuff said!!!

It started with Chest and Back, which consisted of a lot of pull-ups, chin-ups and push-ups. About 10 minutes in I was sick of “ups,” I prefer FedEx anyways!!! So chew on it! But anyways it was ROUGH, but I think from how I am feeling now, it is going to put out some good results! (at least I hope so!!!)

The next part was Ab Ripper X, and that nearly cut me in two! Tony and his dumb, buff, show-off cohorts made me look like a HOT MESS FOOL!!! And by the way Tony, I don’t appreciate it! I laid in the floor trying to do some ignorant ab exercise; I looked like Artie from Glee when he fell out of his wheel chair! Btw here’s a joke about what I looked like laying there:

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, laying in a pile of leaves?

RUSTLE!!!

An Eclipse Commentary

My friend and i always accidentally have super deep discussions...
This is the text series between me and that friend before and after Eclipse:

BEFORE THE MOVIE:

Me (6/29):
Why am i at the eclipse premiere right now?
Her (6/29):
Hahaha! I don't know. You tell me.
Me (6/29):
Idk girl, i am with Hannah will Olivia and UNCLE DAN!!!
Her (6/29):
That's super-funny! Tell him that I’m laughing in his face a little.
At least there are plenty of girls to spit game to.

AFTER THE MOVIE:

Me (6/30)

I think it was the best Twilight movie
Her (6/30):
That's what i figured. The more money they get, the better the quality
of the film. Go figure. Hahaha. P.s. I'm addicted to "Bones" now.
Me (6/30):
I HATE bones, but i thought that new moon was horrible
Her: (6/30):
Why do you hate bones??? And i also liked new moon better than
twilight. Much better directing and camera work.
Me (6/30):
Yes but the acting was abhorrent, i get annoyed very easily by bones,
it’s just so cliché
Me (6/30):
Btw i decided in team Edward
Her: (6/30):
I think It's cliché at first glance, but upon deeper inspection, it's
not at all. The characters are extremely well-rounded. What made you
choose Edward?
Me (6/30):
1. ROBERT Pattinson (sp?)
2. Seems like rob pat is nice in real life
3. Edward just wants whats best for Bella
4. No sex b4 marriage!
5. Jacob is the antithesis of all of these
Her: (6/30):
I agree! Though i love Jake as the best friend, the fact that Edward
makes the effort with the wolves for Bella wins him the favorite love
interest post for me. Good usage of the word "antithesis," by the way.
Me (6/30):
Thanks, i used antithesis on purpose for you, i just don’t like Taylor
lautner as a person,
LADDER THEORY:
Robert P=novelty/sweet/caring...
Taylor L= annoying/BA/biker/friend (never gettin' any [from Bella])...
Btw still don’t like Bella!
Her: (6/30):
I like parts of Bella’s personality. She's a little too damsel in
distressie for me at points, but she gets points for her self-
sacrificing and caring nature.
Me (6/30):
She very "let me cut/hurt myself to gain attention/love!" not a good
message!
Her: (6/30):
I don't know how it is in the movie, but in the book, it's more "if
hurting myself saves the people i love, I'll do it gladly."
Me (6/30):
Still hate it...self-mutilation is never the answer
Her: (6/30):
It is if it gets the scary bloodthirsty vampires to come after you,
and save your favorite people in the world.
Me (6/30):
There is a difference in self-mutilation and self-sacrifice. Self-mutilation=not an answer, self-sacrifice=helpful/nice ;)
Her: (6/30):
We're both talking about when she wants to but herself during the
final battle, right?
Me (6/30):
*cut and partially, she all about choices...cut myself for true love
or no cut for sex and heat...
its multiple occasions where if she only hurts herself all will b
"healed"
Her: (6/30):
So metaphorical cutting? That's life. Sacrifices in exchange for
something better are worth it. But we probably don't agree, and it's
three your time. Get sleep
Me (6/30):
Ok, and no we don’t agree, but what else is new, final word: sacrifices
need to be made for growth to occur, But don’t tear perfectly good
pants just to look good for others

Sooo last night I went to the Eclipse premiere. The group I went with consisted of me, my cousin Olivia (15), my cousin Hannah (17), my cousin Will (11) and their dad, my Uncle Dan (50ish). Sounds like fun right! We arrived about an hour before the movie was supposed to start, around 11pm, when we walked into our theater it was PACKED, I mean there were only like 10 seats open in the whole theater. That was an hour(ish) before the previews even came on! So while we waited, I texted friends and joked about being there (reclaiming my dignity/manhood!) But in all honesty I was just passing the time because I was stoked about the movie! I think it was the best Twilight movie! But, to steal from one of my favorite authors tweets: @prodigaljohn "Eclipse is best Twilight film yet" (That's like saying "Getting punched hurts less than getting stabbed." It's relative)

When I got home I decided I am Team Edward for the following reasons:

1. ROBERT (←my name!) Pattinson

2. Seems like rob pat is nice in real life, although awkward…

3. Edward just wants what’s best for Bella

4. No sex b4 marriage!

5. Jacob is the antithesis of all of these! (except he’s awkward in real life too)

Toy Story 3 = Me Weeping...

Ok, so i just got back from the movies. My family (-Ben, sorry!) went to see Toy Story 3. It was very good, I think it was the best Toy Story. In all honesty I wept a little at the end. It mos def was a "tear-jerker." I very highly reccomend it!

First BLOG post ever...I tried to do a VLOG everyday but that didn’t completely work out! I hope to still post some occasionally. The blog is just to share my thought with whomever wants to read it; hopefully somebody will! Click here for my 1st VLOG!!! (don't get too excited...)